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Wednesday, June 29, 2011

A Rant About My Shitty Tablet Device (Part 1)

Tablets are the new technology. Period. The innovative touch-screen of the iPhone and its ability for developers to create hugely popular applications made it a smashing success. The iPhone has sold over 100 million units as of March 2011. This incredible game changer for technology had only one major drawback: a phone.

To fix this glaring problem, Apple decided to make the iPhone about five times bigger and remove the phone. It was the greatest invention of the year. But even that wasn't good enough, because only a year after the iPad was released, Apple released a second one that was obviously better because it had the number '2' on it. See? Progress!

It was incredible. The whole idea of it was incredible, to consumers and corporations alike. Soon, every company that ever made a fucking battery thinks its tablet is going to be the next big competitor to Apple. And they're always completely wrong.

That is why I am stuck with this piece of awful dogshit:
                                                           No, it's actually uglier in real life.
Yes, friends, this is the Pandigital Novel. An awful name for an awful product. As with all iPad ripoffs, it looks promising initially due to its similarities (namely, being a fucking tablet) and its  significantly cheaper price tag. 

Let me start off by saying there's a reason this looks like the kind of iPad passed off in South African slums by street bums selling DVDs on carpets while he's sitting on a milkcrate counting his $18 over and over. This shit has too many warning flags already.

It looks like Leapfrog for young adults who are in denial over their sexuality and you are greeted to this lovely message when you start it up:
"Contains Reader Mobile technology by Adobe Systems Incorporlated"

No,  that's not a typo. The fucking startup message has a blatant typo in it. Either that or Adobe Systems Incororlated has been making quality products despite us never hearing of them. I will not ask why they share a name with a better tech company.

I'll finish my rant in part 2, probably tomorrow. Or maybe it will extend into part 3, I haven't planned this out.


  1. My... god. That's complete horrible. Definitely glad I haven't gotten one. Can't wait for more, man!

  2. i can live w/out tablets for now.

  3. I wanna have this, good post.

  4. cant wait for my first tablet to be mine!

  5. Wow, that typo ought to tell you something... I think that I'd laugh every time I saw it if I owned one of those.

  6. Ahahaha China's awesome, counterfeiting all your shit (;
    But man great post LOL chuckled here and there d;

  7. I lol'd. I hope that thing was reeeeally cheap.

  8. pandigital sounds similar to pan-american airlines.